By subscribing, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers … Without so much. As they drank, the conversation turned to God. “Aha”, says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1 Knowing where to put it $49,999 It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace. A Civil engineer, while doing field work, comes across a frog, who suddenly begins to speak to him. 1. reddit.com. Engineer Jokes of the Week! were discussing God's profession. The amount of coordination it takes to stand upright, walk and run! ", The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. Trying to fall asleep. ", The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. 43. "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers … Too much heat, fires, lava, vapor, and everyone is in panic mode. God was clearly a mechanical engineer.". A mechanical engineer, an electrical eng.,and a civil eng. The physicist goes first. Three men respond: a civil engineer, a chemist and a literary critic. When he arrives St. Peter looks at the book and scratches his head. 2) You are an engineer if… If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife" Newton, on the other hand, stood right in front of Einstein, pulled out a piece of chalk, and drew a box on the ground of roughly 1x1 meters. Civil engineer: "God is a civil engineer. What Kind of Engineer is God? Engineers have done "ONE NIGHT STANDS" more than anybody else in this world 3. An engineer sees a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. The first one said "Think of all the joints etc. The first student asserts that God is an electrical engineer, because of all the complex information and control signals running around in our nervous system. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them. Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don't understand. The human nervous system is a feat of electrical engineering genius!". -Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke? He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. There are 10 types of people in the world... Those who understand binary, and those that don't! To which the electrical engineer says. An introverted engineer looks at his shoes when he's talking to you, an extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when he's talking to you. ). 19. Forgot account? Find a funny engineering joke or riddle. Hope you will enjoy this Top Civil Engineer Jokes on Valentines Day 2014| Funny Images,Status and share your views via commenting below must. Engineers have done "ONE NIGHT STANDS" more than anybody else in this world 3. The System Engineer says, "God must be an Systems Engineer, look at the design of the human nervous system. I can mend your broken heart. Just look at all the joints! God must be a mechanical engineer." ", A computer scientist, a surgeon, and a civil engineer were gathered at the pub. St Peter gravely tells him that he must go to Hell. ", The HR Manager said, "Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental coverage, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years — say, a red Mercedes? A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one … Old but Gold: 3 graduate engineers were discussing who might have been responsible for the design of the human body. 17,230 Civil Engineer jobs available on Indeed.com. -I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke? civil engineering jobs. The engineer descends to Hell and he finds the situation miserable. ", The management students answered, "Not found on the internet! Source(s): https://shrinke.im/a73ui. ... What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? What Kind of Engineer is God? ", The group fell silent for a moment. 4 engineers are traveling down a road when suddenly the car comes to a stop, The physician remarked, "Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. "Stranded. The surgeon boasts, Surgery is the oldest technology in the world. project engineer jobs. One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of "hide and seek". When it was time for introductions you could hear, I am Dr this and that, professor this or that, Barristers, engineers this and that. Jul 29, 2016 - It's important for a civil engineers to laugh at themselves. He pulls out his engineer's pad and book of projectile assumptions. 16. 4 years ago "i'm a woman examining civil engineering, and that i could like your comments on how women human beings civil engineers are taken care of on interest sites?" To an optimist, the glass is half full. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. He's a mechanical engineer. An architect, artist, and engineer were discussing whether it was better … Engineering Jokes People like to make fun of engineers. To a pessimist, the glass is … AJokeADay pays cash prizes to the top 10 most popular clean jokes each week! He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. ). Hope you will enjoy this Top Civil Engineer Jokes on Valentines Day 2014| Funny Images,Status and share your views via commenting below must. 3. Let’s have some fun today and share some of the best Funny Moments in Civil engineers life. Also see engineer jokes one liners. Everyone knows that poles in the right half-plane are unstable. ^(the ^joke ^is ^by ^Robin ^Williams, ^I ^think) The mechanical engineer says "God must be a mechanical engineer. Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. engineering puns engineering christmas puns engineering love puns engineering related puns civil engineering puns mechanical engineering puns software engineer puns Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. The engineers have no ticket! Look at how perfectly our joints are assembled and how fluid our movements are! ", The medical students answered, "This is a joke, right? Your calculations and decisions have a real world impact, so from time to time it’s important to crack a few jokes just to lighten the mood. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Only the greatest, They argue over what kind of engineer God would be. We just get excited over boring things. "I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie. So, we use our melons! They are a mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a software engineer. The EE said He must have been an EE … This is clear evidence that surgery pre-dates all other technological endevors. Funny engineering jokes are the same as the quotes you would have read above. engineer jobs. Bhadani Quantity Surveyors and Training Pvt. An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. 9) Two atoms are walking down the street, and one says to the other, “Wait, wait, we have to go back. Get link for other Social Networks. Civil Engineer, Infrastructure Engineer, Site Engineer and more! 1,423 Civil Engineer jobs available on Indeed.com. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. Find a funny engineering joke or riddle. Three engineers and three mathematicians are on a train going to a conference. ", The structural engineer says "I think God must've been a structural engineer. Engineering Jokes 1 Engineering Jokes 2 Engineering Jokes 3 Engineering Jokes 4 Engineering Jokes 5 Engineering Jokes - One Liners Engineering Jokes - Riddles . 42. They get onto the topic of how amazing the human body is. Lv 4. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. If it Ain't Broke. The self-confidence – Before and After. Engineer In Hell. They arrive to the town, and the civil engineer and the chemist go to the city hall to present their approaches, but the critic checks into a nearb, The electrical engineer says "God is clearly an electrical engineer. Obviously, he was an engineer! BuzzFeed Staff, India. 0 0. eslinger. Hilarious Engineer Jokes: The Updated 2021 Edition Last Updated: December 31, 2020 This page is for all the engineering students, sweating it out at the daily grind of becoming an Engineer. were discussing God's profession. Good engineers are not born, they are Pre-fabricated 2. The sayings that you read I am sure some of them blew your mind. The Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers post below can add Chemical Engineers as engineers that build targets that explode really well. Mechanical engineers make weapons; civil engineers make targets. 3 Engineers are sitting at the bar, having a conversation along the lines of "If God were an engineer, what kind of engineer would he be?". Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the … Two mixing chambers are working in a factory, one says to the other "You are so efficient! To the … Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. You might laugh, cry, or even groan; but here’s 28 of our favourite engineering jokes: 1. ). It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace. Why does the Polish airline have such bizarre seating arrangements in their aircraft? A: For the mass 2) Power naps are great. An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." She told him that even though she was earlier married to four senior taffic officers of Eastern Railway, but she is virgin.The excited civil engineer who was a Sarderji holding a very high position in Indian Railway … The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also f. A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a civil engineer are sitting around and talking about God. The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1 gallon of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. Just look at the structure of the bones, how they're shaped to carry their loads without wasted weight, how the joints interlock to give free movement, how the muscles are optimally placed as actuators with the best leverage. Engineer Joke Mechanical Engineer Civil Engineer Teacher: What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Newton asked a group of medical students, science students, management students, and engineering students the question, "How can you write 4 in between 5? Just think about a pitcher throwing a baseball 100mph, the forces are unreal. He searched the surrounding country and found a lovely spot with frontage on a small river. The conductor knocks on the door of the lavatory and says "Ticket, please. Mar 2, 2016 - Because civil engineers can be really funny sometimes! A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, while Civil Engineers build targets. A list of engineer jokes, puns, and humor, ranked by people who know the difference between mechanical engineers, electrical engineers, and everyone in between. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. In the hope of being completely transparent, we should let you know that we have no idea what engineers do. Funny engineering jokes are the same as the quotes you would have read above. Mechanical engineers build weapons. Einstein volunteered to go first. The pessimist sees a glass that's half empty. After a few minutes he’s ready, he takes aim, and fires. 20. The doctor said, "Good idea. Noble Civil Engineering. August 22nd, 2010. The Best Ever Book of Civil Engineer Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who If you’ve ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Civil Engineer jokes is for you. To the optimist, the glass is half-full. structural engineer jobs. Engineers don’t need girlfriends. Because civil engineers & urban planners don't like roundabouts! Engineering Jokes People like to make fun of engineers. The ME said He must have been an ME because look at how the human body is constructed with all the intricate bones and muscles. Hilarious Engineer Jokes: The Updated 2021 Edition Last Updated: December 31, 2020 This page is for all the engineering students, sweating it out at the daily grind of becoming an Engineer. ", A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Student: Mechanical engineers build weapons. A frozen pizza and an engineer can both feed a family of 4. See more ideas about engineering humor, civil engineering humor, engineering. The engineers have one between them. Father’s Day is this Sunday, and we think the best way to celebrate is to tell a few patented dad jokes. You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room. Civil Jokes An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and a civil engineer are discussing the nature of God "God is an electrical engineer" says the EE. Who the hell builds a toxic sewage pipeline through a recreational area ? There’s a fire in the middle of a room and 3 buckets of water in the corner. As the mathematicians board the train they have one ticket between them. ", RELATED: TOP 10 THINGS ONLY ENGINEERS UNDERSTAND. You will find this collection hilarious and entertaining. These are jokes about all branches of engineering that maybe only engineers will get. Much of engineering is war-related, and always was. 42. Look at all the joints!” He spent a day studying the huge machine. What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Three engineering students were out drinking one night and determined that God must be an engineer, because of the design of the human body. The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf! Old but Gold: 3 graduate engineers were discussing who might have been responsible for the design of the human body. These are jokes about all branches of engineering that maybe only engineers will get. 2. Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. If not, good luck understanding half of these jokes. Civil Engineering as a field and as a career is not as easy as it seems, Civil Engineers work in fields for countless hours, have to work in Sundays as well. See more ideas about engineering humor, civil engineering humor, engineering. He approaches a civil engineer to design this massive bridge for him. ", One says, "God was clearly a mechanical engineer. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them. The civil engineer speaks up last of all and says, no, God is definitely a civil engineer, because "only a civil engineer would run a sewer through a playground. Click here for more information. Seasoned engineer: “It ensures that all my budgets are irrational.” 8) Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding. 1) Q: What is the difference between a chemist and a chemical engineer? Apply to Civil Engineer, Entry Level Civil Engineer, Senior Engineering Assistant and more! The Balloonist. Engineers aren't boring people. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? Once this was completed, he sat down neatly inside the box and waited for Einstein to finish counting. Giddily, he squeezed into a crawl space sure that he would win this time as this was his best hiding spot to date and Newton surely wouldn't find an equal. They were getting a little ANSI. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." Let’s have some fun today and share some of the best Funny Moments in Civil engineers life. An engineer is a fellow that takes a measurement with a micrometer, marks it with a crayon, and cuts it with an axe. A: Oh, about $10 K a year. The first student, a mechanical engineer, said “God must be a mechanical engineer! St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. He couldn't sleep for 2 days because he missed her. Not Now. Is funny because ….. it’s sort of true. Get link for other Social Networks. So, to help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes. Four engineers are arguing over who designed the human body. Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the … 43. Most CV's are 'Ctrl+C & Ctrl+V' Some of my other Favourites 1. Are you joking? Similarly on Valentines Day 2014 Civil Engineers style of celebration will be too different from others. Who else would run a toxic waste pipe right through a recreational area." The optimist sees a glass that's half full. “Go for civil engineering, because civil engineering is the branch of engineering which teaches you the most about managing people. Mechanical vs. Civil Engineer in Technology Jokes. The sayings that you read I am sure some of them blew your mind. So, three engineers are sitting around a table at lunch, discussing God. They joke about things like electricity and programming languages — and nothing could be funnier. Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work. But what sort of engineer? The fire joke. To kick off, I’m going to share a little secret with you…There is a subtle competitiveness between engineers of different disciplines. Jul 29, 2016 - It's important for a civil engineers to laugh at themselves. Here at AutoCAD, we love a good pun, and we’d like to share a few of our favorite dad-style CAD jokes. ... More jokes about: atheist, communication, god, military, school. Find engineering games, videos, jobs, disciplines, calculators and articles… undefined Posts Tagged ‘civil engineer jokes’ Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers. If you need some more material or just need to brighten up your day, here are 25 of the best engineering jokes from across the web. The mayor puts out a solicitation for someone to offer a solution to this problem. You may unsubscribe at any time. Being an engineer is a serious job. ). “Go for civil engineering, because civil engineering is the branch of engineering which teaches you the most about managing people. ", Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Laden and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, while Civil Engineers build targets. it must have been a mechanical engineer". Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. When Einstein opened his eyes, he of course saw Newton and with a bit of disappointment said “I found you, Newton, you lose”... but Newton replied, “On the contrary, you are looking at one Newton over a square meter... Pascal loses!”. Managing people is a skill which is very, very useful and applies almost regardless of what you do.” - Sir John Harvey Jones. A: Antarctica! If it's a funny, quick joke about engineering, you'll find it here. 100 characters remaining. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline. Just enter your email and we’ll take care of the rest: © Copyright 2021 | Interesting Engineering, Inc. | All Rights Reserved, We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. Are you doing it right? He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? A mechanical engineer, an electrical eng.,and a civil eng. The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. Most CV's are 'Ctrl+C & Ctrl+V' Some of my other Favourites 1. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1 Knowing where to put it $49,999 It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace. The Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers post below can add Chemical Engineers as engineers that build targets that explode really well. He writes down the serial number of the ball and looks it up. design engineer jobs. A good joke can do wonders for the body and I am sure any engineer would appreciate the humor found in these quotes. 21. Engineering information and connections for the global community of engineers. … Read more A: Make them watch as you fold up a road map the wrong way Q: What Do Engineers Use as Birth Control? A physicist … “Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”. The mechanical engineer says “God must’ve been a mechanical engineer, I mean, look at the human skeletal system, so well put together, amazing how he did that” the electrical engineer says “no, God was an electrical engineer. This collection of engineer oriented jokes comes courtesy of the Funny Junk Site. by Sahil Rizwan. The vast network of nerves and all those neurons firing...". "No, no, no, just look at the nervous system! Ltd. Civil Engineer. If you are an optimist, the glass is half full. ", The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! In earlier times, an engineer was someone who made engines of war: catapults, battering rams, and the like. Are you rushing around, trying to get everything done before the holidays next week? What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Look at the nervous system! The musculoskeletal system is perfectly designed to allow us to walk upright.". See more ideas about engineering humor, civil engineering humor, civil engineering. Finally, at the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and said, "This is where your problem is.". How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th? Post Cancel. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't … The civil engineer speaks up last of all and says, no, God is definitely a civil engineer, because "only a civil engineer would run a sewer through a playground. 15. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. Not even the bes, and the mechanical engineer says, "Just look at the muscular system, all the fluid dynamics and joints. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. 1-30 of 3,739 jobs . See more of CIVIL Engineers on Facebook. The first, a mechanical engineer, says, "He must be a mechanical engineer. God was clearly a mechanical engineer." Civil engineers build targets. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world. Civil engineers build targets. As the conductor starts walking through the train car, the engineers all rush off and jump into the small lavatory. They are given anything they want to measure it and have all the time they need. As he counted, Pascal ran away scrambling to find a great hiding place.
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